bored of excitement – the griefjunkie blog 

Antisocial Networking

Dear Rachel

Sunday evenings usually consist of piling into the Duke of Wellington public house on Toynbee Street after trading to rest, recuperate, and in my case, bully food out of androgynous ladyfaced girlboy Chris, with his lovely soft skin like a baby deer. Most of the early evening is taken up with putting the world to rights. By nine o’clock, the world is completely righted and we can start on the other planets. By chucking out time we have Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and Mercury pretty much done and dusted. If Uncle Vinny, who runs the place, ever gets a 24hr licence, it is entirely possible that we would not go home for several days, and just emerge blinking and hungover one Thursday morning to give a press conference in return for tea and fried egg sandwiches, when we have discovered the meaning of life and the existence of God.

[Hitting up on Read More will reveal Facebook observations among other things]

It’s probably worth pointing out that ‘we’ is, as a rule myself, Lou, Chris, Louis the Goat Bag Man, Gary and Laurence and Laurence. Laurence and Laurence is one person. In his 1978 hit, Gerald Kenny claimed that New York is ’so good they named it twice.’ While Laurence and Laurence is in every aspect a splendid man, he is so inattentive that you have to repeat everything to him at least twice, hence the name. If his hair was on fire, it would need pointing out to him via Facebook. Chris, who recently won the title of Camden’s Weakest Man, is an East Yard urchin who has our old pitch on Saturdays. This explains why a shirt with Facebook Groups Are Not Political Protest on it hangs where Dolphins Are Gay Sharks used to. I pointed out to Chris that actually, in contemporary society, Facebook groups are political protest, which says more about the nature of political protest than the nature of Facebook. I am fond of our own Facebook group, as it is like a very very small army comprised of people who, ironically enough, would be entirely useless in an actual military organisation. We would probably hold our own against a similar sized group of unarmed angry toddlers, but that would be about it. I think maybe we would be useful as the kind of high ranking officers who understand that, if nothing else, wars are a useful way of thinning out the proles.

That said, I did decide to get a Twitter account, as Gary was going on about it. Twitter is endearing and I don’t know why. I think it is the 140 character limit thing, which makes it the Haiku poem of social networking. Although if you had a friend who only spoke in Haiku poems, you would probably want to avoid them as much as possible, so the jury’s out as far as I’m concerned.

Anyway, the Twitter account is Griefjunkie. So far it is just me going on about coffee and biscuits, so to be honest you aren’t missing much.


  1. luby gibson

    Mar 11th, 2009
    5:30 pm

    awww! i miss you guys! i need to come up to camden now i am no longer broken!

  2. Paul

    Mar 12th, 2009
    12:41 pm

    I don’t think I would recognise you if you weren’t ill.

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