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Fighting Homelessness In Southwark
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 6:24 pm | Write a comment
Dear Rachel
The stretch of Borough High Street between the excellent but now derelict chip shop and the George Inn is where I first realised I was poor, when homeless people stopped asking me for spare change at London Bridge tube station. Being ignored by beggers is pretty disheartening, I can tell you. For a while, I thought I might have become a ghost.
Anyway. I was wheeling stock past the Post Office there last Friday, when a homeless bloke unexpectedly offered me a fight. I give thirty five quid a month to a homeless charity, which presented a dilemma, as I wasn’t sure whether this meant that I should have a fight with him, on the basis that I have effectively paid an entrace fee of sorts, or that I shouldn’t, on the basis that one of the many things that violence probably won’t solve is the issue of rough sleeping in London. Also, fighting a tramp would be difficult as their major componant is stain – this particular one was in effect a bearded stain in a jacket – which may well give them some kind of special combat skill, possibly shapeshifting, and you’d have to be careful in case you got bitten.
[Getting drunk and rowdy with Read More now will reveal classic but defunct scrapping and brawling phrases]
I had already walked some distance past my tattered but spirited would-be opponant when he shouted old skool scuffle-opener ‘What are you looking at?’ at me. While we must all give credit to this time honoured brawl initiator, no one has actually started a fight with it since 1981, and it can be gently laid to rest along with Did You Spill My Pint? (1929-1978) and Are You Looking At My Bird? (1937-1983). I dunno about you, but the last time I punched anyone unconscious I spent ages saying yeah look, put all that stuff you’ve just stolen back and stop walking towards me being all threatening or I am going to have to smack you and there’s no need for all that beforehand – which, come to think of it, is so formal that we might as well have settled our differences with a game of chess, or had the whole thing dealt with by the UN.
On this occasion, though, I merely pointed out to this bloke that I was in fact looking at Rymans, and not him, on account of him being behind me and me not being a fucking barn owl. He paused for a second, said ‘Fair enough. Sorry about all this mate – I’m absolutely off my tits’, shook my hand and walked off. Obviously, I did the decent thing and gave him £1.50.
Bravely fighting global tyranny?: Twitter.
Or just a bit bored?: Facebook Group.
Jun 26th, 2009
4:03 am
well played, sir.
Jun 26th, 2009
8:14 pm
Yeah it all worked out nicely in the end. But an ethical grey area, nonetheless.
Jun 27th, 2009
11:21 am
I really like your blog, Thanks for writing!
Jun 27th, 2009
8:10 pm
You can help, Kim, by finishing off the good work that was started here – get down to Southwark and bounce that tramp all the way to Croydon.
Jun 29th, 2009
10:36 pm
<a href="http://s170.photobucket.com/albums/u255/nick-louki/?action=view¤t=PaulBarnOwl-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u255/nick-louki/PaulBarnOwl-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Paul BarnOwl"></a>
Jun 29th, 2009
11:39 pm
It’s uncanny, Nick. Marvellous plumage and a quiet air of calm dignity about both of the fine specimens on show here.
Jul 1st, 2009
7:07 pm
Isn’t it just…
I just happened to stumble across that when browsing the internet.
Honest.
And out of curiosity, are you working this fine Friday?
Jul 2nd, 2009
1:56 pm
Nopers. Fridays have fallen right off at Camden, so will be skipping it for the time being. The East Yard looks like a jumble sale these days, especially during the week. Shocking.
Jul 2nd, 2009
7:21 pm
Oh Dearie Me
How tradgic. I have still yet to visit your Southern subletings…
sounds like a plan for Saturday maybe…
It’s been a while…