bored of excitement – the griefjunkie blog
Archive for October, 2008
Friday, October 31st, 2008
Ahoy there, casual lovers
I was on the quiet carriage of a train the other day, reading the Downing Street Years – which, incidentally, is the most grown up thing you can do – when a slight mishearing of a tannoy announcement lead me to believe that there was a Nazi trolley service passing through. The phrase ‘at seat’ (which to my relief was what the trolley service turned out to be) when uttered in a lumbering and neanderthal northern accent sounds like ‘Natzee’, as opposed to the correct and melodious southern ‘Nartsie’, and the announcer was from somewhere in the north. Bolton, Sheffield, I dunno. Somewhere.
In any case, I would probably have have been in the clear, racially speaking, if it had come to checking documents and bloodlines, as I am descended from at least six generations of undiluted total fucking idiot, employed in Chatham Dockyard in Kent, or the Port of London, in London. My grandmother walked to Chatham from Whitechapel, where she is from, to get work, met my grandfather there and married him on the basis that he ‘had a nice hat’. Their courtship was romantic, and involved lots of walks in Victoria Park in Mile End, during one of which they adopted a stray dog called Mickey. They also named all their subsequent dogs Mickey, and many of them enjoyed far more success and prosperity than any of their human descendants.
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
Ahoy there, casual lovers,
Yeah I dunno if you remember a couple of years ago, there used to be this hunchy bloke with child legs who used to play Nowhereman all day on a sort of metal harp in the cobbled yard at Camden, right next to the pizza place. The mentally insufficient warbling Beatles classics is just the sort of thing to sharpen your apetite right up, so the pizza people must have been well chuffed. Incidentally, scandal fans will be interested to learn that all the loose change he used to get from suddenly not that hungry passers by was spent on a well known local prostitute and crystal meth afficianado, in what must have been very bleak sexual congress indeed.
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