bored of excitement – the griefjunkie blog 

Archive for October, 2009

Slow Saturday At Greenwich Market

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Dear Rachel,

General disdain at the quality of available Hillmans* is the perogative of the market trader, or, as I am rebranding myself over the next few months, the gentleman retailer. Therefore,’If I sell you this, will you go away?’ is now my standard offer to disinterested and/or uninspiring browsers.

It’s horses for courses, though. Looking like Yoda doesn’t necessarily make you wise, as I pointed out to some old bint this weekend, shrunken from a lifetime of pouring out scorn, as she picked over our stall in the manner of someone retrieving a bus pass from a pile of dog turds.

(*Hillman Hunters – Punters)

[Hitting Read More will reveal secrets of the free market economy and Beastie Boys related kitchenware sales]

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Fame At Last

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Dear Rachel

Yeah I was setting up my stall at Greenwich last Saturday when a woman, who had been watching me wrestle with hangers and clips and stock for some time, came over. ‘I’ve been following your work for years’ she said, ‘and I’ve always hated it’.

I’ve never been complimented and slagged off at the same time before, and it is a bewildering experience, let me tell you. It’s like if you laugh and sneeze simultaneously – a third thing needs to happen to equalise the situation, like wetting yourself. In the event, all I could muster by way of a reply was ‘Well, thanks for hanging in there’ which I said to her very-pleased-with-itself ‘I Am Not A Plastic Bag’ holdall as she walked off.

The slightly odd thing is, though, that unless you actually know me personally or follow these posts pretty closely it is quite difficult to work out what it is I actually do. I didn’t recognise her, so she must be among the hundred or of kind people who have nowhere else to go and read this on a regular basis. Assuming that this is the case, I’d like to extend a hearty Hello Piss There Off to you, wherever you are, by way of a welcome and a go fuck yourself.

[Hitting Read More now will reveal further bewilderances, among other things]

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