bored of excitement – the griefjunkie blog 

Archive for March, 2011

Here Comes The Cavalry!

Thursday, March 24th, 2011

Dear Rachel,

As Britain slides with gathering pace and certainty towards some kind of oblivion or other, the role of what’s known as the ‘creative private sector’ has become crucially important. The creative private sector is the only branch of the economy that actually generates new money – it also creates new tax revenue and new jobs, and is able to kickstart the economy on both a local and national level. It’s also populated by people like myself, Danny, and Keith, and the battlefields upon which the nation’s economy will be saved are places like Greenwich Market.   Admittedly, I’m not sure how confident that kind of information is likely to make anyone feel.

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Hiding In Your Car

Friday, March 11th, 2011

Dear Rachel

The element of surprise is a powerful tool, as Keith and I discovered last Sunday as we were putting our stock away following a dreary day’s trading.   As I walked back from the container in which I secure my stuff during non-trading days, I noticed him putting boxes and such into his car via the front passenger door.   I quickly calculated that I could also put myself into his car via the open hatchback without him noticing, which I duly did, partially concealing myself among some blankets and other standard back-of-car paraphenalia.   By bursting forth with my arms outstretched and shouting ‘Hello!’ in a rough approxamation of someone with a moderate to severe speech impediment at the appropriate moment,  I was able to use surprise to make Keith involuntarily leap to a height of perhaps two feet and very nearly soil himself.  

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You Talk So Hip, Man

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

Dear Rachel

My old dear is the kind of person who says stuff like ‘I’m a firm believer in strong tea‘,  ‘You know me – I must have an airing cupboard‘ and ‘Debenhams make a lovely trouser‘.   She would probably go on to assert that Clarks make a lovely shoe and, I dunno, Dennis make a lovely fire engine.    With only a limited insight into contemporary High Street fashion, however, she is unlikely to say ‘Superdry make a lovely turnpike hood‘.   This is perhaps slighly sad as the currently massive clothing brand’s first UK outlet was would you believe a market stall on Petticoat Lane – an area with which she is highly familiar – and as such they qualify as barrow boys made good.

For those of us still struggling with the ‘made good’ part of that equation, these are interesting times.  The first quarter of every year is traditionally when alliances are made, dissolved, or renewed, as disparate traders join forces in all manner of unlikely combinations in order to stave off bankruptcy for another few hours.   While it would obviously be imprudent to go into too much detail in front of – as it were – the children, there is all manner of plotting and scheming afoot.  I have for example found myself in detailed negotiations with a t shirt vendor with gold teeth from Greenwich called Pete.   Pete was recently the centre of considerable scandal when, jilting his boyfriend of eleven years (whose t shirt business it turned out to actually be), he eloped with another trader, Michelle, who also happened to be the girlfriend of his top man at Greenwich.   This I feel can be discussed in front of the children, as he made a point of discussing it with absolutely everyone else.  I really do mean everyone, too: Danny said to me that he’d ‘never seen anyone so c*ntstruck‘, and I’m inclined to agree.   Ironically, it was never discussed in front of Michelle’s children, as she ditched him six days into the relationship.    Anyone who can go from gay to straight, lose a boyfriend, a girlfriend, and a livelihood in the space of a week is likely to fit in very well aboard the good ship publicgriefjunkie, and so who knows what, if anything, may come of it. 

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