bored of excitement – the griefjunkie blog 

Archive for March, 2013

Carpet Issues

Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

Dear Rachel

I am fond of the middle class, and would invite them to give themselves a round of applause if they weren’t already doing so. I don’t really have the self-loathing to get involved properly, but I am definitely partial to the things they like – I keep loose leaf tea in a caddy, I own a folding bicycle and a box set of The Thick Of It, and not only do I understand cricket, but I consider it to be the most exciting boring game in the world. I have a decidedly middle class snobbery about stuff, too – for example, I think tomato sauce with a roast is poor form, as is gravy on the same plate as baked beans. This is more to do with style than class, I suppose, because you’re either Blue Peter or Magpie, Swap Shop or Tiswas, Liberty or Selfridges. You can’t be both.

In my case, I am tempted to suggest that this is genetic. My grandfather thought that sandwiches cut diagonally were ostentatious and that eating them would make him a class traitor, but that garden gnomes were tacky and common. I discussed this recently with his daughter – my old dear – as I rolled around her living room in an armchair. There is such a thing as a castor cup, which is placed under chair wheels to prevent this happening: demonstrating the irrational snobbery of the family line, my old dear refuses to have them in the house.

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