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Archive for August, 2013

Danny Helps A Pigeon

Friday, August 9th, 2013

Dear Rachel,

Interestingly, fans of the film version of Lord of the Rings who fancy trading at Greenwich Market can be allocated a pitch by a man who was actually in it. Ben – for this is his name – certainly has the stature and general beard of a man at home with chasing Orcs around woodland areas with a large axe, in accordance with his most notable cinematic role. He also has the air of a man with too many new traders – none of whom have to date recognised him, or shot him with a poisoned longbow – for one person to deal with.

To this end, he approached me with a group of them selling – probably – tea cups with candles in them, cushions prominently featuring the word ‘Love’ or bad charcoal drawings of cats and said ‘I’m handing you over to Mr Smith here. He’ll be able to look after you, because he’s the King of the Swingers – a jungle VIP.’

‘It’s true,’ I confirmed, developing the theme, ‘I’ve reached the top, and had to stop, and that’s what’s bothering me,’ increasingly aware with every passing syllable that I was addressing a group of people who had never seen the Jungle Book. Suffice to say, as I showed them to their pitches, I didn’t get the impression that they particularly wanted to ‘be like me’ very much at all. It was, however, an entirely different film-related event that proved to be of most interest that day, as it concerned Danny’s ill-starred attempts to release a pigeon into the wild, preserved forever on an iPhone 4.


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