Bored of excitement – The griefjunkie blog 

Dear Rachel

…or so they say.   However, even if I had traded all day on Saturday with my eyes tightly closed, I would still have known that there was a framed Pac Man tube map prominently displayed behind the stall because of the relentless waves of highly excited people rushing up to the pitch and shouting ‘Oh my God! Space Invaders!’ at it.

This was, however, only one of several irritations on what was an annoying weekend.  I had commenced it slightly later than I would usually like, a fact stridently announched by Jimmy who sells ho-hum artwork by the entrance.  Jimmy is one of those people who is ‘a bit of a character’, and his voice and demeanour suggest a strict diet of Highland terriers and tartan headscarves.  ‘Yes,’  I replied while hastily hefting storage boxes about, ‘but I would rather be late than Scottish’, which seemed to keep him quiet.

Such was the pace of the ensuing day that I was able to ascertain that a half full storage box, if kicked with the correct amount of force, will precisely replicate the opening of the theme music to Grandstand.  I got Keith to do the little twiddly bit that immediately follows on the stall frame with pens, which gave us a passably good first two seconds of the tune, although we struggled after that as it is very difficult to do the rest with coat hangers and bits of cardboard in place of the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by Len Stevens.   Nonetheless I was happy with our efforts, especially considering the poor quality of available materials, and made me quite certain that if we had been among the prisoners in Colditz, we’d have been the ones making the glider in the loft.

As the day wore on, the phrase ‘That’s a bit expensive’ was being uttered erroneously by many bored representatives of the general public who wouldn’t know quality if it whipped its cock out and slapped them round the face with it.  I’m afraid I’m simply not at home to this kind of thing, and have found that the enterprising stall holder has a number of counter responses at his disposal, which can be chosen according to mood.  My  usual tactic these days is to simply pretend that it isn’t my stall and I’m just looking after it for someone else.  This will also deal with another common assertion, which is that I ‘couldn’t have thought of all this stuff’.  However, the most pleasing way I have found of dealing with the ‘That’s a bit expensive’ punter is to stop them and say ‘Yeah sorry, this is going to sound a bit weird, but can you say that last sentence again, but with the words ‘…for me’ at the end’, and then, once they have, say ‘Yes I thought that’s what you meant’ prior to asking them to leave immediately. 

Twitter: Useful if you are just too fascinating to keep your thoughts to yourself.    

Facebook: Still holding at 117 in the Reluctant Facebook Group, although we are kicking our long term confederate and drinking partner Chris out this week to see how closely he is following things.