Haggis Is Just Haggis apron
If Casablanca had been set in Scotland, not only would it have been considerably less romantic, but the famous song from it would possibly have started 'You must remember this - haggis is just haggis'. In fact, it definitely would.
(Product consists of 50% apron 50% wording. Apron itself is catering quality poly-cotton, suitable for any kind of ill treatment you might want to give it. It also looks a lot nicer in real life than it does here, which will be a relief to cyber shoppers.)
Model = Auntie Amanda.